Family Counseling and Child Custody

Mursion Experience

Part 1: Case Example

Overview of the Case

Amar and Davina are a couple struggling to manage their household and give a safe environment for their son, Archie. During my recent home visit, I observed several red flags: beer bottles were scattered throughout the home, the space was generally disorganized, and the overall atmosphere seemed tense and unsafe for a child. There are also reports that Amar and Davina have been driving under the influence with Archie in the car.

They have been assigned to attend Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings and to follow a structured parenting plan. Unfortunately, they have not been attending these meetings and have failed to follow the parenting plan. Due to these issues and the potential risk to Archie’s safety, I must inform them of the decision to temporarily remove Archie from their custody.

Transcript of the Conversation

Opening the Conversation

05:08 Speaker 3 (Myself—Case Worker):

Hello, how are you guys doing today?

05:10 Speaker 1 (Davina):

Good, thank you.

05:15 Speaker 3:

And you, sir, how are you doing today?

05:17 Speaker 1 (Amar):

Fine.

05:19 Speaker 3:

Fine.

05:22 Speaker 1 (Davina):

Well, I mean, yeah, not great, honestly, you know, this is a weird situation to be in, you know, I hope everything\\\\\\\'s okay. We just want to, you know, pull through for Archie.

05:35 Speaker 3:

I definitely understand. I understand that you want to pull through and do what\\\\\\\'s best for your son, but tell me, you said it\\\\\\\'s a difficult situation. Tell me how things have been going since the last time we spoke?

Technique 1: Learning Stance

Here, I am using the \\\\\\\"Learning Stance\\\\\\\" technique as described by Stone et al. (2023), which involves approaching the conversation with a genuine curiosity to understand the other person\\\\\\\'s perspective. I invite Amar and Davina to share their experiences and feelings and thus create an open dialogue and reduce defensiveness.

Addressing Specific Concerns

06:13 Speaker 3:

Can you speak to me more about the difficulties you have been encountering?

06:20 Speaker 1 (Davina):

Yeah, well, part of it is just, you know, these meetings and everything like that. They\\\\\\\'ve been a little hard to get to. We got work and everything, you know, we\\\\\\\'re trying to take care of Archie in the evenings and, you know, transportation\\\\\\\'s kind of been difficult lately. Yeah, that\\\\\\\'s a newer development for us.

06:41 Speaker 3:

Okay. So has the transportation been difficult for just you, sir, or you too, ma\\\\\\\'am?

06:51 Speaker 1 (Amar):

Yeah. Yeah, for both of us really. You know, there\\\\\\\'s just been some car issues kind of recently.

06:59 Speaker 3:

Okay, okay. I definitely understand how difficult it can be when you encounter car issues. You don\\\\\\\'t know how much it\\\\\\\'s going to cost to repair. You don\\\\\\\'t know if the diagnosis of your car is the right one. So that can be a lot of difficult and stressful at the same time. So I would like to ask you, what did you, how, what coping mechanisms did you use to deal with that type of stress?

Technique 2: Active Listening

Here I use the \\\\\\\"Active Listening\\\\\\\" technique from Hocker and Wilmot (2018), which involves hearing, concentrating, understanding, and responding to what is being said. I paraphrase their issues and show empathy towards their situation. This indicates to Amar and Davina that I am engaged and concerned about their struggles, which in turn encourages them to be more open about their challenges and opens the door for effective problem-solving.

Discussing the Parenting Plan

09:00 Speaker 3:

So I want to circle back to, you said you were not able to go to your AA meetings due to your problems with transportation.

09:11 Speaker 1 (Davina):

The schedule too, you know?

09:15 Speaker 3:

Right. Okay. However, were you aware that there are virtual AA meetings that you could attend?

09:24 Speaker 1 (Amar):

No. No. How could we get access to those? What, what? Yeah, when are they?

09:32 Speaker 3:

They\\\\\\\'re available through Zoom. So you can access it through a laptop or even through your phone to download the app, and you will be able to participate in those AA meetings.

09:44 Speaker 1 (Davina):

And those count?

09:46 Speaker 3:

Yes, they certainly do.

Technique 3: Reframing

Here I use the \\\\\\\"Reframing\\\\\\\" technique from Stone et al. (2023), which involves shifting the focus and tone from negative to positive. I introduce the possibility of virtual AA meetings and thus reframe perceived barriers into actual solutions.

Delivering the Difficult News

15:25 Speaker 3:

You had a little bit. Okay. Oh, well, based on my last visit and based on the alcohol consumption and driving and the current status of the home, I think it\\\\\\\'s best that we remove your son.

15:52 Speaker 1 (Amar):

What? Oh no, no. I don\\\\\\\'t think that\\\\\\\'ll be necessary.

15:57 Speaker 3:

I think it\\\\\\\'s best to remove your son right now and place him in DCF custody so you guys can provide a clean, safe home for your son.

16:14 Speaker 1 (Davina):

Well, I mean, this is safe. It\\\\\\\'s certainly safer than foster care. I\\\\\\\'m sure you hear all these horror stories about the system.

16:26 Speaker 3:

No, I do understand your concerns. This is a difficult situation, but I believe right now that the child would be safer in DCF custody than with you guys right now.

Technique 4: \\\\\\\"I\\\\\\\" Statements

Here I use \\\\\\\"I\\\\\\\" statements, as discussed by Hocker and Wilmot (2018), which let me express my perspective and feelings without blaming the parents directly. That way I can prevent defensive reactions. I present my professional judgment and concerns for Archie\\\\\\\'s safety, which lets me communicate the seriousness of the situation without coming across as passing judgment or condemnation.

Encouraging Compliance with the Family Plan

21:54 Speaker 3:

I am here for you, and is there anything you think I can assist you with or anything you feel you need assistance with?

22:06 Speaker 1 (Davina):

I mean, how often could we see him, or could we continue to see him?

22:15 Speaker 3:

You can see him as much as you would like as long as you follow the proper procedures for visitations. You know, I think you can see him as much as you want as long as you follow those rules. So that\\\\\\\'s not an issue. You will be able to see him under supervision; you will have supervised visits with him. Again, we\\\\\\\'re not trying to deprive your son further.

Technique 5: Building a Common Goal (from \\\\\\\"Difficult Conversations\\\\\\\")

Here I focused on on establishing a common goal, as explained by Stone et al. (2023), so as to get our efforts aligned towards the shared objective of Archie\\\\\\\'s safety and also of family reunification. Thus, I looked to create a sense of partnership with Amar and Davina and create a collaborative spirit.