Cybersex Cheating or Not Cheating Term Paper

Excerpt from Term Paper :

cybersex is cheating or it is not cheating based on its benefits or damages to a relationship. In addition to a discussion of the meaning of this concept, the evaluation incorporates a brief analysis of the factors that contributed to its emergence and its growth and development in the modern society. The arguments raised in support of the practice being cheating have also been discussed. The evaluation has also included a discussion of the arguments raised to support the claim that cybersex is not cheating. After analyzing the varying arguments, the reasons cybersex is cheating have been demonstrated.

Cybersex: Cheating or Not Cheating:

Cybersex is a concept that has developed in the recent past because of increased use of the Internet in the modern society. This concept has attracted several debates and controversies, especially because Internet affairs and sex are readily available. It has also developed because the Internet provides an established opportunity for infidelity that easily accessible and hard to resist. Given the prevalence of cybersex because of increased Internet use across the globe, there have been several arguments and counterarguments on whether it is a form of cheating or not. The main reasons offered to argue that it is a form of cheating are based on the belief that it is characterized with activities that constitute cheating. Some of the reasons provided to support this view include the fact that cybersex provide fantasy, safety, and big opportunity for escape. On the contrary, some people argue that it is not a form of cheating because it does not really involve romance and physical intimacy since it is based on fantasy, which is not a component of cheating. An analysis of these arguments and counterarguments demonstrate that cybersex is indeed cheating because of its activities.

Development and Growth of Cybersex:

Generally, prior to rapid technological advancements, a typical affair used to begin in the office and move to a secret motel room. More than twenty years ago, people were basically sure about what constituted infidelity or cheating. Some of the major signs that were used to detect cheating in a relationship include a husband spotted in a restaurant with his secretary, strange silent phone calls, pink lipstick on a husband's collar, and unclear and unexplained absences from home. During this period, it was very difficult for an individual to solicit for or get sex and would sneak around to actually seek for it (Erasmus, 2013).

However, technological developments have contributed to the emergence of cybersex because of the huge reach of the Internet (Smith, 2011). The advent of the Internet or digital age has made it possible for people to look for sex without necessarily leaving the comfort of their homes. As the current world in becoming dominated by gadgets such as Sidekicks, Blackberries, and Smartphones that help improve communication through the Internet, a new type of form of infidelity or cheating has emerged i.e. Internet infidelity or cybersex. Currently, nearly 75% of the American population has Internet access in their homes whereas approximately 15% can access the Internet through their cell phones. This increased availability of cyberspace has contributed to the rise of cyber cheating, which is one of the major problems many couples have been seeking counseling for (Mazer, 2007, p.1).

The cyberspace has provided several opportunities to meet someone on the Internet and get involved romantically. These opportunities are usually found in interactive web sites, social networks, chat rooms, and blogging, which have unintentionally invited strangers into other people's bedrooms. Currently, the Internet is considered as a feasible venue to meet some and hookup just like the traditional venues like restaurants. In essence, cyberspace has made it easy for people to cheat on their partners because it is easy, less costly, and easy to hide. Furthermore, the ease of these kinds of relationships does not involve one-to-one contact because they are regarded as emotional timeout. Generally, Internet infidelity has grown tremendously because people communicate secretly, people meet others online, and people patronize the several available online sex services.

Views Regarding Cybersex:

As previously mentioned, cybersex or Internet infidelity has attracted several controversies, debates, and views regarding whether or not they are cheating. The varying views on this issue have been fueled by the fact that Internet affairs have become the flavor of the day with regards to extramarital affairs and infidelity. According to the findings of recent surveys, men and women have different views on online affairs and
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cybersex (Houston, 2009). Based on the findings of a survey in Divorce Magazine, most men i.e. 46% of men consider these affairs to be infidelity. However, the numbers of women who consider cybersex and Internet affairs are more than men i.e. 72%. In addition, many people have raised numerous concerns on whether these affairs and sex should be taken seriously because they do not involve sexual intercourse. On the other hand, it appears that view on cybersex is dependent on an individual's beliefs and values (Boone, n.d.). Therefore, partners should agree on what constitutes or does not constitute appropriate Internet behavior and activities. Regardless of this, studies have generally shown that people tend to critic others' Internet activity or advances more severely than their own online practices.

Arguments that Cybersex is Not Cheating:

While many people question whether cybersex should be taken seriously, there are various arguments that have been raised to refute claims that cybersex is cheating. These arguments on the basis that cybersex is virtual and resembles the right thing but does not actually constitute the real thing. Some of the reasons provided to support claims that cybersex is not cheating include & #8230;

Harmless Flirting:

People who argue that cybersex is not cheating usually consider it as harmless internet chatting with minimal impacts on relationships. These people argue that an individual's real emotions cannot be aroused by these simple activities such as typing on a keyboard. Actually, these individuals consider cybersex as harmless flirting because emotions are usually faked. For instance, the fact that a person's puts a smiley face does not necessarily imply that he/she is actually smiling.

Lack of Physical Involvement or Sexual Intercourse:

The other reason to support this argument is that cybersex does not involve any physical involvement or sexual intercourse. Consequently, it is not cheating since cheating requires physical involvement like kissing or sexual intercourse. These people argue that cybersex is not cheating because they are emotional time-outs that do not involve one-to-one contact. Therefore, cybersex is not really cheating because no sex is involved at least at the outset.


People who are involved in cybersex argue that these affairs do not constitute cheating because they are not real and are insignificant to them. They consider the activity as insignificant because it is harmless flirting without any connection. This insignificance is also attributed to the fact that there is not actual meeting between the involved parties. Online affairs or cybersex begin at fantasy and end at fantasy, which means that they are not cheating. Generally, these people simply flesh out whatever skeleton they are receiving from their online partners; fleshing out that is derived from imagination.

The insignificance of cybersex is also attributed to the intrinsic nature of human beings to want to be liked. As a result, people like to play up the things or activities that other individuals respond to. Individuals who engage in cybersex do so to respond to be liked and fulfill their intrinsic desires and do not really set out to be dishonest or cheat on their spouses (Skomal, n.d.).

Prevention of Infidelity:

Even though cybersex sometimes begin unconsciously and through misrepresentation, it is not cheating since it provides an alternative to actual infidelity. While this activity is viewed as cheating by some people, others view it as a perfectly natural activity that prevents infidelity. Actually, some of these individuals may encourage their partners to engage in cybersex as a safe means to satisfy some desires and needs that may otherwise lead to the path of temptation to infidelity. Consequently, these individuals believe that cybersex is not cheating but a safe means for people to prevent themselves from engaging in infidelity by meeting some desires and needs.

Arguments that Cybersex is Cheating:

Despite the presence of several arguments on why cybersex is not cheating, there are more convincing arguments that this activity is cheating. Similar to many kinds of emotional infidelity, cybersex or online affairs can subsequently result in sexual affairs. Based on recent statistics, 50% of individuals who get involved in Internet chatting have made phone contact with those they met online (Houston, 2009). According to the findings of another study, 30% of online affairs develop from e-mail to phone calls to personal contact. Studies also found that 31% of individuals involved in Internet affairs ended up having real-time sexual intercourse with their online friends or partners. Some of the major reasons raised in support of the claim that cybersex is cheating include & #8230;

Contains Elements of Infidelity:

Many jealous and…

Sources Used in Documents:


Boone, D.E. (n.d.). Cyber Cheating: Is It Really Cheating? Retrieved January 17, 2014, from

Erasmus, S. (2013, December 27). Cybersex -- Is it Cheating? Retrieved January 17, 2014, from

Ferguson, P.L. (2009). Marital Infidelity -- Are Cyber-Affairs Infidelity? Are Internet

Relationships Cheating. Retrieved January 17, 2014, from

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