Instructing a Childs Heart: MAT Book Review

Abstract

This paper presents a critique of the textbook Instructing a Childs Heart by Tedd and Margy Tripp, using the 4MAT Book Review system. The review begins with a concrete response to the book, followed by a reflection on the strengths and weaknesses of the authors' approach to parenting. The paper concludes with actionable steps that parents can take based on the book's teachings. These steps include educating the heart, creating a family culture of grace, applying discipline wisely as Scripture teaches to do, and being a personal example of growth and spiritual love for the child to see and follow.

Concrete Response

Instructing a Childs Heart is a practical guide for parents who want to teach their children biblical values and principles. The book is divided into three parts, each focusing on a specific aspect of parenting: foundationsi.e., the call to formative instruction, heart-directed methodsi.e., the substance of that same formative instruction, and practical applicationsi.e., how-to steps that parents can take in their everyday lives, focusing discipline, teaching consequences, how to balance correction with care, and so on.[footnoteRef:1] This is why the book can aptly be described as a practicalalmost field-useguide to parenting with a care to for the heart of the child, where the Word of God must take root. The authors begin by emphasizing the importance of a strong foundation in Gods Word and the necessity of parents own spiritual growth. They then provide practical tools for cultivating a childs heart and addressing heart issues such as pride, anger, and disobedience. [1: Tripp, Tedd, and Margy Tripp.Instructing a child's heart. Wapwallopen^ ePA PA: Shepherd Press, 2008.]

One of the strengths of the book is the authors' emphasis on the importance of the heart in parenting. They make the case that behavior modification alone is not enough and that true change comes from a transformed heart. The Tripps also provide practical tools for helping children understand their hearts and identify the root issues that drive their behavior. These tools include the parents own example of love and the excellent resources provided in Scripture. For instance, the Tripps argue that behavior is often a reflection of what is going on in a child's heart, whether it is a desire for control, a need for attention, a struggle with anger or jealousy, or any number of other issues. Instead of just addressing the behavior, parents need to take the time to understand what is going on in their child's heart and help them respond to those issues with biblical wisdom and grace. Parents are to model the wisdom of Scripture so that children can see it. If they cannot see it in their parents, they will have a hard time seeing it in their own minds and hearts.

Another strength of the book is its emphasis on the role of the family in shaping a child's heart. The authors stress that parents are the primary spiritual influencers in their children's lives and that the family should be a community of grace where children can learn to love and serve one another. The book provides practical suggestions for creating a family culture that fosters spiritual growth and character development. Scripture again is key to this practice. The book suggests that Scripture should play a crucial role in helping children to see how they are to live, act, think, feel, and love.

One of the weaknesses of...…discipline they expect from their child to their own lives, to their own souls and hearts. If they lack it, they cannot expect to see it in their children. They have to live the Scripture and set the example. That is why they have to lead like they mean it.[footnoteRef:6] [6: Ashley McDonough-Turnipseed, Lead Like You Mean It, 2023. https://www.coachedbychrist.com/post/athlete-leadership-training]

Action

Based on the teachings of Instructing a Child's Heart, parents can take several actionable steps to shape their child's heart and foster a strong family culture:

1. Focus on the heart: Instead of just addressing behavior, take time to understand the underlying heart issues that drive your child's behavior. Teach them to identify their emotions, desires, and attitudes and respond to them with biblical wisdom and grace.

2. Build a family culture of grace: Create a home environment where love, forgiveness, and service are modeled and celebrated. Make time for family devotions, prayer, and service projects that cultivate a sense of community and shared purpose.

3. Use discipline wisely: While discipline is necessary, use it as a tool to teach and guide your child rather than as a punishment for bad behavior. Be consistent and firm but also gracious and compassionate.

4. Affirm your child's positive qualities: In addition to addressing negative behavior, make sure to affirm and celebrate your child's positive qualities and achievements. Focus on building on their strengths and talents and help them grow in their areas of interest.

5. Continuously grow in your own faith: As the primary spiritual influencers in your child's life, make sure to prioritize your own spiritual growth and development. Make time for personal Bible study, prayer, and spiritual disciplines that will strengthen your relationship with God and enable you to lead…