To give tribute to her memory, I continue to press on in my work, and hope that my eventual degree will be a lasting credit to her memory). The method of teaching in America was very different than what I had experienced in Bangladesh. In Bangladesh, students listen and take notes, and accept what the teacher says as the gospel truth. In America, students are encouraged to argue and debate with the professor, and if they do not they are regarded as less engaged with the material. In my eyes, the attitudes of my American colleagues seemed startling and challenging.

A far higher level of personal independence was expected in America than in Bangladesh. Students were encouraged to select their classes with relatively little assistance. Because of the large nature of UTA, there is little support for the student in selecting a reasonable workload, finding academic assistance, and in seeking counseling for a future career. My grades suffered as a result.

As I grew more accustomed to the freewheeling nature of the American school system at UTA, my grades improved during my second and third semesters. I tried to rely more upon TAs and my fellow students for assistance and communal studying for my classes. I went out to social gatherings, met more people, and began to 'loosen up' which resulted not only in higher marks but also a happier and more positive outlook on life. However, I still felt frustrated at times because my grades were not as strong as the excellent marks I had received while a student in my native country, and I still held myself to those standards. My self-esteem was still quite fragile, and when I took a more challenging class in the spring semester of my sophomore year, I became overwhelmed once again and failed the class. The challenges which would have perhaps been mere difficulties for a more confident student completely shattered my sense of well-being. I decided to pick myself up from the dust, however, and repeat the class taking it with a teacher with whom I felt a greater affinity, and now I am doing much better.

I am eternally grateful to America for giving me the opportunity to seek out the kind of education that would not be available in Bangladesh. Few people have the family support or finances to do so. However, I still seek the perfect match for my aspirations and interests. In contrast to UTA, Texas A&M has a much larger international student body and much stronger academic and social support networks for students with my background. I believe I could flourish at Texas A&M, and truly become a full participant in the classroom and extracurricular life in a manner in which I cannot at UTA, given the demographics of the student body and the structure of the education system there. Also, my academic focus has shifted from an interest from civil engineering to petroleum, which UTA does not offer, but which is one of Texas A&M's strengths.
Despite my rocky beginnings in my American academic career, I am convinced that I have a great deal to offer Texas A&M. I know that the school could give me the fresh start I need, and would allow me to fulfill my dream -- and my grandmother's dream -- of graduating from an American university.