Spousal Violence and Abuse Effects on Children

Spousal and Child Abuse

Child and spousal abuse is an intentional act that results in physical and/or emotional or psychological injury on a child or spouse (or partner) by a parent or a mate, respectively (Gelles 2004). In a child, abuse more often takes the form of neglect. Child and spousal abuse and violence are major social concerns today.

The extent that children are abused by their parents or adult caretakers is difficult to measure, although it appears to occur most frequently among lower-income communities and certain ethnic and religious minorities. Abuse of children ranges from physical and emotional abuse and sexual abuse to physical and emotional neglect (Gelles). Effects of physical abuse are varied and visible: unexplained bruises, fractures and burn marks. Emotional abuse destroys the child's sense of security and self-esteem. Sexual abuse includes all acts that expose them to the sexual satisfaction of the parent or adult caretaker. Physical neglect means failure to provide at least the bare subsistence to the child, and emotional neglect, the cold, distant and un-loving behavior (Gelles).

The National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect estimated that, in 1997 alone, there were around 3 million children in the United States reported to government agencies as neglected or abused. From these numbers, 56% were subjected to physical or emotional neglect, 25% to physical abuse, 13% to sexual abuse, 16% to emotional abuse, and the remaining 13% to abandonment or a combination of the common forms of abuse. The Center estimated that 2.3% of all children in the United States, or about 1.5 million, experience abuse or neglect every year. It emphasized that around 2,000 under 18 are killed by their parents or adult caretakers annually and that more children under 4 die from abuse or neglect than from any other cause, including falls, choking, drowning, fires and vehicular accidents, and that more than 18,000 of them will be permanently physically, emotionally, socially or mentally handicapped on account of abuse or neglect for the rest of their lives (Gelles). And the effects are myriad, disastrous and far-reaching: brain damage, permanent disabilities, even death; very low self-esteem, inability to relate productively with others, learning disorders, depression, dissociative identity disorder, anxiety, prostitution, aggression, and other behavioral problems, such as violence and juvenile crimes.

Abused children also encounter academic problems, agitation, a loss of a sense of belonging, great emotional distress, insomnia and nightmares (Newton 2001), obsessive behavior, a vengeful attitude, a subconscious sense of guilt and withdrawal. In adulthood, an abused child also tends to develop alcohol and substance abuse, violent practices and sexual problems.

Children who are abused are, furthermore, forced to shed off their childhood too soon to behave more like adults (Newton), such as by caring for younger siblings, cooking, cleaning, and even taking over the responsibility of parents in earning for them. These children soon become isolated from other children who can otherwise be close friends. They become either extremely extroverted or extremely introverted. Some become overachievers. Children who witness or experience domestic violence also passively respond to it in the form of anger, misery, intense terror, abnormal fear of death or of a parent dying - things that obstruct their normal emotional and social development into healthy, functioning adults at their time and with confidence in the world and in themselves. Domestic violence or abuse can and does interrupt or destroy this natural process and, instead, fill them with shock, which they cannot handle.

Even toddlers and infants, who are subjected to abuse, respond to it in different forms, such as sleep disturbances, irritability, regression in toilet habits and speech development, fear of being alone and disturbed personal autonomy (Newton).

Spousal violence or abuse occurs when one of the partners dominates the other by physically harming or verbally demeaning him or her (Jacobs 2001). Physical harm includes sexual abuse or performing sex against the will of the dominated partner.

Nine out of 10 spousal abuse victims are women, aged 19 to 29 (Jacobs). Physical signs of spousal violence or abuse include fractures, injuries in other parts of the body and un-explained bruises and cuts, some of which may be in different stages of healing.

Low self-esteem, depression and anxiety are among the symptoms of spousal abuse. It can happen to people of whatever religious, ethnic origin or income level. Studies, though, indicate that a man is more likely to abuse his wife or partner if he has a violent past or if one of them has committed child abuse in the past, has not finished high school, has had drug problems, a blue-collar worker, aged between 18 and 30, un-employed, has a different religion from his partner, they live together without marriage, have poor living conditions and the man saw his father hit his mother (Jacobs). Findings say that the risk of violence is twice as much if any two of these are present in the relationship, and a couple with 7 or more of these factors are likely to be in an abusive relationship 40 times more than not.

The many deleterious effects of spousal abuse include teenage pregnancy, binge drinking, cocaine abuse, risky sexual behavior (sex before 15 and with multiple partners), smoking, suicidal tendency or attempts, eating disorders, overweight or underweight (Jacobs). A study undertaken by the Arizona State University reported that women abused by their partners suffered musculoskeletal, mental and gynecological injuries. Around 38% of them said they received at least six blows on their heads as adults and 40% of them had no health insurance (Boudreau 2002). The study also reported that 61% of the subjects suffered from dental injuries on account of the abuse, while 64% were afflicted with hearing damage for the same cause.

A separate study revealed that a jealous man can be very abusive in forbidding his partner from having friends and wearing suitable clothes that made her look attractive and in hiding microphones and hiding a detective to stalk her. He can even frame her up and then accuse her of his suspicion. The victim becomes an innocent hostage who is isolated and stifled. Within this pathological condition (Pheil 2005), the abused spouse may develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and exhibit symptoms like reliving or perpetuating the trauma, over-avoidance of the cause and hyper-arousal. The victim also over-identifies with the abusive spouse through a reactive sympathy towards the latter and even accepts or assumes the abuser's view of the world (Pheil). This shows the extremes through which an abused spouse goes to even protect her jealous and battering husband, lover or boyfriend.