Children and the Media Whether or Not

Children and the Media

Whether or not children should be allowed to watch television or movies is one that elicits great controversy among parents, educators, and child development experts. Some have no problem with exposing children to media, others have distinct criteria to fulfill before allowing children to watch any form of media, and still others strongly advise against exposing children to media at all. The real issue is about the nature and quality of the messages and images that children consume as they watch or listen to media.

I believe there are distinct advantages for children and the potential for positive impact with many shows that are available for children today. Generally, the commercials that are viewed by children during age-appropriate viewing are not harmful in any way, though caregivers will want to be certain that the messages being conveyed match up with their overall philosophy. I also believe that exposing children to the news could be rewarding as well. Media can offer a positive correlation between viewing and enhancing social, verbal, cultural, and cognitive skills. It is also possible to find programs and movies that engage a child's fine motor and gross motor skills. Many shows are also great for pure entertainment and creative development (enhancing imagination) as long as the shows are age appropriate and viewed in moderation. A huge inventory of shows and movies that serve the educational needs of children and support a healthy and positive view of education and increase motivation for learning.

A few examples of positive shows and movies are listed as follos: SuperWhy (reading, language processing, creative writing), WordGirl (language and vocabulary development, language processing), WonderPets (imagination, creative thinking, goal-setting, helping others), Dora the Explorer (bilingual immersion, math, science, social studies, healthy living), Sesame Street (language, music, movement, friendship, family), Go Diego Go (bilingual immersion, nature, zoological studies, friendship, family), Backyardigans (imagination, adventure, friendship), plus Disney movies and Family movies, amongst many others available on such channels as Nickelodeon, Disney, Sprout, PBS, and ABC Family, and countless cable channels these days. Such educational tools such as these are great for children with disabilities who cannot speak because majority of these shows have a learning concept with repertoire language, objects with spoken language that is helpful in aiding speech and language especially children with autism and many other disabilities with delayed language and social skills. Further, all of these shows are imaginative and encourage creativity, adventure, and curiosity. Some even teach specific things about nature, the world, and other cultures or languages.

In contrast, I also believe that many television shows can be harmful to children. Many television shows distract a child from socializing, being mobile and physically active and cultivating their own sense of creative adventure and curiosity. However, this only becomes a problem when a child has too much time in front of programming and not enough time learning to play games and do crafts and play outdoors and with their parents and caregivers. It is also true that some shows, even children's shows, have no significance of reinforcement, efforts, or success at learning a lesson. There would also be no relevancy of the child watching television because poor integration has been repeated and lack of involvement in which the child will become bored and will not be attentive in the lesson. Such shows have no value, poor lesson applicability and no significance to a child's development. Needless to say, daily television shows, news and commercials can perpetuate stereotypes, promote prejudice, racism, confuse, scare and upset children. Commercials, in particular, can foster an unhealthy perspective on consumption and materialism or unhealthy eating. A child should always be limited in their access to television shows and movies as well as not allowed to engage with programming that is in any way destructive or antisocial. Adults should also be advised against watching their own shows in front of kids as many adult shows contain so much profanity, adult dialogue and content, mixed-messages, sarcasm and satire that children take literally, nudity and sexuality, and violence and gore, none of which a child needs to engage with.

Some shows like Spongebob seemingly function as mindless programming. Other shows or video games that glorify fighting or antisocial/opposition behaviors will manifest in the life of children who view these things on a regular or even inconsistent basis. Watching shows with derogatory language towards either gender or watching shows and playing video games that glorify sex and violence are not healthy for children (or adults for that matter). Some shows that may seem okay for children still have commercials and some of these commercials can be even more of a problem, such as those that connect beer with having fun and being cool or those that encourage sex and violence. Children have developing still to do and in some ways can't be held responsible for their lack of logical reasoning that may make them more susceptible to believing or trying things according to the messages and images they view and listen to.

In my opinion, the questions of whether children should be allowed to engage with media depends on the nature and purpose of the media and whether it is considered age-appropriate. Perhaps if a parent or adult wants to allow a child to watch something that may not be considered age-appropriate the best way to do so is to watch it with them so that dialogue can happen. Further, it may be a great idea to avoid commercials. Many television shows are appropriate, educational, and developmentally advantageous while others are inappropriate and non-educational and even encouraging of antisocial or oppositional behaviors.

I also believe due to technology there is a setting on televisions where parents can block different shows and commercials. Parents just have to be active in their child's life and monitor their viewing and exposure and keep a steady, consistent dialogue with their kids about their lives and their needs and their feelings. The relationship any child has with media stems from the family background, values, environment, peer relationships, perceived expectations, beliefs, behaviors, and religious/spiritual influence.

Perhaps too much news, television shows, and commercials are destructive, just like too much of anything tends to be a bad idea. Parents need to be active in the lives of their children and establish appropriate and healthy boundaries and rules with respect to media. Used properly, television shows and the assortment of different media's can teach children many positive things about the world, but even then a parent should not want their children learning way more from programming than they do from their own parents. Knowledge and understanding of news, commercials, and sitcoms can teach children a sense of belonging and social responsibility or too much can lead to isolation, distortion of reality, and false concepts and identity issues. Seemingly, many people would suggest that the school system (teachers) should promote and require students to follow certain shows and news for educational weekly events that coincide with one's own lesson plans. This really should be the decision of parents. Teachers are paid to teach and should not need to require media in the lives of their students as many families choose to severely limit media exposure and should have that right. Additionally, many literacy programs encourage parents and children to read the newspaper together daily to develop language skills and healthy reading habits. This form of communication can be especially valuable when children are exposed to tough issues like violence, sex, drugs, death, alcohol, and divorce. Many educators (teachers or parents) would say they don't have a guaranteed answer, but communication is a great remedy for educating one's child by conversing with our children early and often about stories and images that they are exposed to by the environment, television, associates and other media, we can help them better understand the world to the best of our ability.

Aggression in Children

Aggressive behavior takes a variety of forms among individuals and it can be physical, mental, or verbal. However, one should not confuse aggression with assertiveness. Research says that there are two broad categories of aggression including hostile, affective, or retaliatory aggression and instrumental, predatory, or goal-oriented aggression. Some research indicates that people with tendencies toward "affective" aggression, defined in this study as being "impulsive, unplanned, overt, or uncontrolled" have lower IQs than those with tendencies toward "predatory" aggression, defined here as being "goal-oriented, planned, hidden, or controlled."

I believe that working with families that have aggressive children can have mimicking symptoms of many different illnesses and problems such as follows: medical problems, psychiatric conditions, and other underlying problems. Needless to say, the very essence of treating aggression is first knowing and understanding the root of it and what drives the aggression in the child. Many would suggest family problems, psychological problems, abuse, behavior disorders, learning disabilities, physical fear of others, neurological disorders such as autism and may other disabilities. First the problem(s) needs to be identified, or diagnosed. Then the child's advocates must set positive and productive goals for the child. Afterwards, potential solutions should me made and evaluated to see what plan is working effectively and enact the best solutions and observe and asses the outcomes. Perhaps knowing about the behavior in children from start, professional educators can help develop a behavioral and educational plan for the child that would accommodate a child's individual needs at school while assisting and giving advice and support to parents in the form of counseling or pamphlets so they can incorporate the same routine at home with the child with hopes of the behavior subsiding or ceasing.

Responsible Single Fathers / Staying Involved in the Life of Your Child

Below are some practical tips, in my opinion, that would be useful for single fathers for staying active in their child's life and education while adjusting to their role and style of parenting, which is often quite challenging.

Life brings unforeseen situations especially with custody issues after separation or divorce, and especially when one parent only sees their child on days designated by the courts. It be an overwhelming adjustment. Many parents just give up or become hopeless and choose to depart from their child's life to escape the pain and expect that they are doing their children a favor. Moreover, some parents feel jealous and displaced when their significant other has moved on and remarried or dating another individual.

Fathers who are non-custodial parents need to know that there are several ideas to maintain open communication and a healthy and loving relationship with one's own child. Below are some tips that I believe would keep a line of open communication open and a healthy relationship growing strong.

1. Call, email or text your child at least every day or every other day just to say "Daddy loves you." Come up with a special language to communicate via social media just to establish something special

2. Call your child and discuss their personal issues and school issues and never come across condescending or like you can't talk about anything.

3. Call your child and work on homework together even over the phone. Show great interest in anything he/she is doing and learning.

4. Call your child and discuss things about life stuff, such as drugs, sex, bullying, death, friendship, love and etc., because your child needs to know that you are open to whatever questions and that you are a safe person to talk to when he/she makes mistakes. It's better to have a child's trust than for your child to do and try things and have no accountability.

5. Make sure you visit your child on all scheduled dates and if you have to cancel a visit call the child and be honest explaining to the child why you will not be able to see them that said date and perhaps you can arrange a makeup date with the custodial parent. Don't be a flake! Be as consistent as possible and realize that there is pretty much NOTHING short of severe illness that should ever conflict with your designated time together.

6. Allow the child to suggest places to go when you all spend quality time together. Enter his/her world and do so happily and make it always an adventure.

7. Stay active in the child's education and call the teacher, visit the school and participate in some of the field trips, get to know their friends.

8. Never talk badly about the other parent and never allow the child to speak ill of the other parent. Cultivate honesty but not slander. It's fine to not make nice stuff up just for the sake of it. Also, clarify with the child that you don't want to hear bad things to make you feel better but if your child needs advice or legitimately has a concern let him/her be heard.

9. Send mail to one another, especially email these days.

10. Keep your child engaged in a lot of healthy and productive extra-curricula activities, and specialty programs, and BE THERE when there are performances or the like.

11. Go to counseling session if you both need it and do it together.

12. Photograph and journal all the memorable vacations and activities that you both did together and show it off to other people so that your child knows how much it means to you.